Crazy Week Wrap-up

I am so glad this week is over.
It was CRAZY!
(This coming week will be almost as hectic...but hopefully not as CRAZY!)

Brad, my super smart husband, fixed my crashed (PINK) laptop AND managed to save my files! Including the pictures I had saved of my Dad. I am so happy and relieved.

I graded all but one period's midterms...It took forever
and I thought my hand would fall off.

My horrible TA still has self-esteem, even though I told him he was fired...
and locked my treats in the closet.

The primary activity was a success.
Even my "too cool for primary" 11 year old admitted (grudgingly) it was fun.
The flavored breads/quick breads/whatever bread were a huge hit.
Only one kid complained...and she ended up eating 2 and half pieces.

Speaking of Primary...let me vent for a moment about some of the women in Relief Society.
"Attention women in Relief Society, Primary is NOT 2 hour free day care for you. We are there to serve and teach YOUR children. When we need help, we would appreciate YOUR help. Do not make the RS President come and help...her children are already grown. I realize that you see this 2 hour block as YOUR time...but your spirit can be just as uplifted serving in Primary. Thank You!"

excuse me, while I step off my soapbox

Whoo-that has been bothering me for a few hours.

Brinley has decided that her day at school is determined by whether or not her recess is long or short. If it is long, she had a great day...if it was short, boy, do I hear about it later.

Emily did not win student body elections.
It was very sad and there were a few tears shed...on both our parts.
It hurt to see her so disappointed.
But she looked at me and said, she learned somethings and to try harder.
(I will admit that I shed a few more tears after she said that.)

My Foods 2 classes planned and prepared their meals on Friday. It went so well! There wasn't a bad meal in the bunch. It almost made the hour long shopping trip and $300 grocery bill worth it. It did not make up for the mean old guy at Macy's who kept staring at me and make snotty comments about how much food I was buying. If Brad hadn't been there, I may have punched the old man.

I do owe Brad an apology.
Apparently I crossed some boundary when I discussed our issues with fiber pills in the previous post...
I had NO idea that the guy who can go to church and discuss "snail trails" had any boundaries.
I apologize...

for now!

Ramblings of the Sleep Deprived

Its 2:30 am and i am wide awake.
I am also starving.
unfortunately, whenever I open my 'fridge
I start dry heaving.
so i am eating cheez-it crackers and a Phineus and Ferb
fruit snack...I hid from Brinley earlier

I cant't sleep.
I am having one doozy of a week

It's midterms at school
I have this entire basket of stuff that needs to graded
by 3:00 Friday.
One of my TA's is a lousy corrector.
I told him today,
he is worthless.
He laughed
Don't worry about his self-esteem...
last week I told him to "go and get a piece of gum out of my desk
because he had the worst coffee breath".
(yes---I said EXACTLY that)
He laughed...
and now helps himself to EVERYTHING in my desk...
including the Phineus and Ferb fruit snacks I took to work
(to hide from Brinley)

My PINK laptop crashed on Tuesday,
(did I mention it is Midterms this week)
I had just spent 2 hours working on a power point for class.
Brad got it started enough for me to email my power point to myself-
so I could use it at work.
Unfortunately the crash destroyed all of my pictures and animations.
So i emailed myself this skeleton looking presentation
and naturally didn't notice until 15 minutes before class.

I have a Primary Activity on Saturday.

I have to go to Salt Lake sometime before Friday for blood work.

Brinley won't wear this cute jumper...because she said "people will think she is a farmer"
The jumper isn't even denim...it's tan with pink flowers...from Gymboree...How many farmers wear Gymboree?! (I did not buy this, it is a hand-me-down from my super cooler sister)

I think I am getting a cold, my throat hurts and my nose has started to run.

Emily has started Orchestra again, which makes my Wednesday and Friday mornings extra fun.
She has to be to the junior high at 7:45 and I am supposed to be at work by 7:30. Naturally it is not Tooele Jr High but the other one...across town.
Super fun.
I love spending my mornings YELLING at her to hurry...
dropping her off with a "Have a good day and I love you"...
even though I just spent the last 20 minutes yelling.
makes this maternal working mom guilt go into overdrive

She is also running for student body vice prez and made it past the primaries. They did final votes on Wednesday and so we should find out today. Cross your fingers!

I had a meeting, Wednesday night, at the new Tooele County Community Learning Center. It is a gorgous building with great equipment and technology. It did make me think, "is this why we haven't heard how much equipment/supply money my deptartment gets this year?" Cynical, I know...but, after seeing it, I have a feeling the budget amounts are going to be way down.

Ya know, how when you are pregnant your digestive systems slow way down
(i will try and put this as delicately as possible)
and then prenatal vitamins make the problem even worse?
well I have been trying to combat the "slow down" with fiber pills.
Brad takes one and almost has to call in sick the next morning, because it "speeds" things up.
I am taking THREE a day...not really helping.

this last ramble is proof....
I really need sleep.
I really need to correct papers.
Luckily, my TA today is better at correcting,
and even better...
she doesn't have coffee breath.

Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this!

Ya know the feeling,
"Why me?"
That was my experience 6th period today.
Why me?

I was showing my Foods 1 class how to use a hot air popcorn popper...
Believe it or not, but most kids today have NO IDEA that you can make popcorn outside of a microwave!

So, I am demonstrating how to pour the popcorn in to the popper and wait for it to pop.
About midway through the popping, the entire lid falls off and popcorn is flying EVEYWHERE!
Teenagers are laughing, I am laughing. Its a good time!
I make a joke, "Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this"
The seniors laugh harder. I laugh. Everyone is laughing and popcorn is poppin' like some freakin' apricot tree.

I am trying to unplug the darn popper,
when an unpopped kernal
flys out of the popper
and GOES DOWN MY SHIRT...
IT LANDS IN MY BRA...
AND STARTS BURNING MY BOOBIES!

Important info: even if a kernal does not pop. IT IS HECK-A-HOT!!!!!

What can I do?!
I have like 36 teenagers watching me...
and over half are boys.
I can't stick my hand down my shirt and pull out the molten kernal.
So I quickly ask, "any questions?"
Dismissed...
but one freshman kid (it's always a freshman)
comes up (just as I am about to pull the kernal from my burned bosom)
and asks for the work he'll miss next week, because he is going on vacation.

I want to YELL..."MY BOOB IS BEING BURNED AND YOU ARE TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR DAMN VACATION!"
but i didn't.
I used this as an excuse to run across the hall to collect his assignments from my classroom, all the while blowing down my shirt.

Excuse me,
I need to find the aloe.

Smith family parties are NOT for children

We celebrated Brad's bithday and Labor Day with a Barbeque at our home.
Brad's Aunt Bit always brings the cake.
She works at Schmidt's Bakery
which not only has amazing goodies...(the eclairs are to die for.)
They make a yummy cake.

Usually the cakes are full of beautiful flowers and are so pretty it is almost a shame to cut into the perfection...
but then you remember the yumminess that awaits and you just take a picture to remember the beauty.

Sometimes Aunt Bit has the cake decorated with cartoon characters or match box cars.

For Brad's she went a completely different route...


(if you are a bit prudish, you may want to click on a more wholesome blog)

Yep, this is the cake she brought.

You can order one for your next event...Be it a bachelor party, divorce party, or your nephew's birthday!

The cake is called "Dirty Sue".

We all called her "Crack-Whore Sue".

Aunt Bit assures us she is anatomically correct under her frosting bra and g-string.

Brad said, "chelle and I will find out later" wink...wink...wink...

on my part, I went, puke...puke...puke ;)

The best part about the cake is that Brinley is totally convinced that Daddy is going to give her his new "Barbie".

Aunt Bit also mentioned that there is a male version...they put him on a bear skin rug.

just in case you ladies want to order one for a bachlorette party, divorce party, or your neice's birthday.

Insecurities

Insecurities
I have a few
About what? (you may ask)
EVERYTHING!
I think it is a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Oh sure I try and ACT like I have it all together.
But most days I want to curl into the fetal position
and go back to my mommy's womb...
because I am sure that was the only time I ever felt confident.

Brad does not understand where these insecurities come from.
He has tried for 15+ years to get me to lighten up.
But, It's a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Nothing
NOTHING!
brings out my insecurities more than what I have to go through this week...

It is..

SCHOOL PICTURE DAY

Oh, how I dread this day.
It does not matter what i have accomplished in my life
School picture day causes me to revert back to my 6th grade self.

I had no style, bad hair, worse skin and really crooked teeth.

And I sit down on the stool, those 6th grade images will come flooding back.

It won't matter that I am no longer a student (I am a teacher)
It won't matter that I found my sense of style (at least at work)
It won't matter that my roots are freshly covered and my hair will be perfectly fluffy
It won't matter that my skin cleared up (most days...fingers crossed)
and it won't matter that I got braces and my teeth are straight (although not as white as they could be)

The whole time I will be greatful that the camera is only from the chest up and trying to remember to tilt my head a certain way so my double chin doesn't show (as much).

Why are school pictures just as traumatic as an adult as they were in junior high!!!!!

In two weeks I will get my picture packet
and cringe (and it won't even matter if it is a fairly good one...I always cringe)
I will quickly tuck my new ID card into my lanyard.
and cut out the three pictures I always save:
one for Brad to take to work
one for my school scrapbook
and one for my mom...because mom's LOVE school pictures even when you're 30something!
I will tuck the rest away, along with my 6th grade self...
until next year.

EDIT
as i was proof reading this, i realized it may come off that i am depressed. Please do not call my doctor and suggest happy pills. Please do not call my Ob and suggest hormone replacement. Please do not alert my religious leaders that i need some spirituality in my sad life. This was intended to be a funny look at how much I dread school picture day. And the hope that insecurities really are a woman thing.
(at least i hope it is)

Happy Birthday Brad!

Because it is Brad's bithday and in keeping with blog-o-shpere tradition I am going to write about all of the wonderful things I love about my husband. But don't worry, in keeping with blog-o-sphere tradition, I will also include some of his flaws and minor jabs at his character so y'all don't get too nauseated from the sugary-coated life this post may portray!

(Note to Stephanie: at NO point will I refer to him as my "eternal companion"...I don't want you to throw up and boycott my blog!)

REASONS I LOVE MY HUSBAND (in no particular order):

*he calls me George. This started when we first met. People think it's weird...I think it is sweet. He calls me 'Chelle too, in fact if he ever calls me "michelle" is sounds harsh and I know I have irritated him

*he his Honest. He won't steal a shopping cart...even though I really NEED one at school. I have even come up with scenarios, so we don't actually steal it from the parking lot...no deal.

*he does the laundry. He calls it his "manly duty"...or doodie. He has done this since the first year of marriage when I washed our garments with our forest green sheets. Even now, if he needs to me to do some laundry he prefers to sort it first.

*he is friendly. This is one the things that first attracted me to Brad. Since I am somewhat shy and reserved, I admired the way he can strike up a conversation with ANYONE. 15+ years later I find this annoying sometimes...do we have to make friends with every cashier and waiter we come across?!

*He makes me laugh...EVERYDAY! Its his goal...and he accomplishes it...Because he is "one funny Mo-Fo".

*He is a great dad. He knows each disney princess, hannah montana, and has been know to have his own Ron doll (excuse me, action figure) so he could play Kim Possible with Emily. He watches Phineus and Ferb with Brinley and even quoted it at the dinner table earlier this week. (he draws the line at singing Justin Beiber)

*He enlightened me to the world of Star Wars, Star Trek, James Bond and Harry Potter. I still do not appreciate Monty Python, Strange Brew, and Blazing Sladdles...oh and Stripes...he tries...I don't get it.

*he is a p*****t. (I can't actually type this because Emily reads this.) Lets just say he can turn anything into some sort of innuendo. It doesn't matter where we are; at home, the store, friends, at CHURCH. People think it's funny...it is...except at church.

*He has to have his hand on my bum to fall asleep. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I have to snuggle his manly bicep!

*he is smart. He knows lots about politics...who else carries a copy of the constitution everyday...and can quote it. As we have gotten older, he has become more liberal and I more conservative. We still have some doozey arguments regarding politics, but less since he has given up playing devil's advocate.

*He loves the Jazz and Faiders (excuse me, Raiders). He cheers for Utah, mainly because he can't stand BYU fans. The Lord, does not choose football teams. He has other things to do..."if the Lord chose them...thet wouldn't have to be Independent."

*He thinks I am the greatest! When the world is harsh and I feel bad about myself, he is the one person that reminds me how special I am. He makes my insecurities dissappear and lets me know he loves me. and that is all that really matters.

Love ya
(you are closer to 40 than I will EVER be!)

Spacing

The other day a co-worker stopped me in the hall.
She heard through the "grapevine" (a.k.a. gossip mill)
that I was expecting. She asked a few questions,
and then MARVELED at the 6 year difference between
Emily and Brinley. And EXCLAIMED at how brave I was for doing it all again.
Didn't i know that "optimal child-spacing is 2 1/2 to three years".

Umm...yes, I have heard that.
Thank You.

See when we started out on our journey we didn't PLAN on NOT following
"optimal child-spacing" it just sort of happened.

We had Emily in our mid twenties.
It was cool and exciting to have our first.
after 4 years of marriage, we were finally able to say

we are a family

We got busy with careers, buying a home, raising a child.
We seemed to have it all.
The problem with having it all, is that sometimes "all" is hard to manage.
We lost sight of what was important.
We had distorted priorities.
We were at a very low point and
took a look around and realized that the only thing we could keep was the fact that

we are a family

So we pulled our heads out of our butts
reoraganized, readjusted...
and VERY QUICKLY got pregnant with Brinley.

For me, Brinley has always been the punctuation mark.

We are a family.

Period, end of sentence.
Her birth was a definitive moment that cemented the fact that the low part was over.
We now had a definite goal, a definite priority.
And even though we still have to juggle careers and everything else, we learned how to do it together.

We planned on "optimal child-spacing" after Brinley.
But, our ways are not His ways.
We still needed to learn patience.
We needed to learn to trust in Him.
That we (I) can not control everything.

As we look forward to our next baby, I am still learning to trust in Him.
Knowing that He knows
How much we want...

WE ARE A FAMILY!
our exclamation point