Insecurities

Insecurities
I have a few
About what? (you may ask)
EVERYTHING!
I think it is a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Oh sure I try and ACT like I have it all together.
But most days I want to curl into the fetal position
and go back to my mommy's womb...
because I am sure that was the only time I ever felt confident.

Brad does not understand where these insecurities come from.
He has tried for 15+ years to get me to lighten up.
But, It's a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Nothing
NOTHING!
brings out my insecurities more than what I have to go through this week...

It is..

SCHOOL PICTURE DAY

Oh, how I dread this day.
It does not matter what i have accomplished in my life
School picture day causes me to revert back to my 6th grade self.

I had no style, bad hair, worse skin and really crooked teeth.

And I sit down on the stool, those 6th grade images will come flooding back.

It won't matter that I am no longer a student (I am a teacher)
It won't matter that I found my sense of style (at least at work)
It won't matter that my roots are freshly covered and my hair will be perfectly fluffy
It won't matter that my skin cleared up (most days...fingers crossed)
and it won't matter that I got braces and my teeth are straight (although not as white as they could be)

The whole time I will be greatful that the camera is only from the chest up and trying to remember to tilt my head a certain way so my double chin doesn't show (as much).

Why are school pictures just as traumatic as an adult as they were in junior high!!!!!

In two weeks I will get my picture packet
and cringe (and it won't even matter if it is a fairly good one...I always cringe)
I will quickly tuck my new ID card into my lanyard.
and cut out the three pictures I always save:
one for Brad to take to work
one for my school scrapbook
and one for my mom...because mom's LOVE school pictures even when you're 30something!
I will tuck the rest away, along with my 6th grade self...
until next year.

EDIT
as i was proof reading this, i realized it may come off that i am depressed. Please do not call my doctor and suggest happy pills. Please do not call my Ob and suggest hormone replacement. Please do not alert my religious leaders that i need some spirituality in my sad life. This was intended to be a funny look at how much I dread school picture day. And the hope that insecurities really are a woman thing.
(at least i hope it is)