Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Working "Outside"

The other day I was having a conversation with a woman in my ward.
She asked if I would continue working "outside" my home after the baby was born.
I told her I would take 6 weeks off and then go back to finish out the year.
"Oh, then you will be at home?"
Well, i said, "until school starts up in August."
The look she gave me was a mix 1-of complete horror 2- pity 3-a bit of disgust
she then ended our conversation.


Over the last 12 years I have dealt with this...
a lot.
Being a working "outside" the home mom is hard.
Being a Mormon mom who works "outside" is impossible.


I do not need for anyone to leave a copy of Presidents Benson talk from 20+ years ago in my door.
(this happened...with highlighted areas)
I also do not need you to quote the Proclamation to me...I have one in my living room... thank you.


You see, I can quote prophets too.
I can justify my life decisions with the scriptures just as well as the next person.


It has taken a long time for me to come to this acceptance with myself, my family, my religion and my career.

I am ashamed to say, that at one point, It was this very thing that I used as my excuse to become inactive.


I am a Mormon mom who works "outside".
I am trying, just like you are to fit everything together.
Sometimes, I am not very good at the puzzle.
But none of us are...that's why were here...to learn.


I do not need your pity.
I do not need special treatment.
I do not need your judgement.
I do not need you to compare your busy day with mine.
I know we all have busy days and stress and schedules and meetings and callings and practices and dinner to get on the table.

I do not work to pay for my wants.
We don't vacay in fancy places...we go to Pinedale, Wyoming
We don't wear fancy clothes...I am excited if I get to shop at Target and Kohl's is next to Christmas in my book
We don't have expensive toys.
And most months we struggle to get from paycheck to paycheck.
Just like you do.

I know I may complain, wail and gnash my teeth.
It's not a cry for pity.
Somedays I don't want to go to work
Just like you don't want to deal with morning rush and carpool drama and running kids to practice
but we all do what we have to do
For ourselves and our families

1 comment:

The Wilcox Family said...

Michelle I think more power to you that you do it all. My mom worked my whole life infact she was and still is the main breadwinner in my parents relationship even though she worked I knew that she or my dad would always be at any special event in our lifes they never missed anything and I wouldnt trade my parents for anybody in the world. They to did what they had to do. I know that you are an amazing mom and do everything for your kids and I already see that you do what you need to do to be at their special events in their lives (brinleys first day of school-1 example). I can see that your kids just adore you and think you are the greatest so to whoever said that I feel bad for them that they think that there is a certain mold that we as mormons have to fit in because there is not! We all do what we can to live the gospel and follow its teachings and only the Lord has the right to judge us. I am sorry for what you get thrown your way!