Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this!

Ya know the feeling,
"Why me?"
That was my experience 6th period today.
Why me?

I was showing my Foods 1 class how to use a hot air popcorn popper...
Believe it or not, but most kids today have NO IDEA that you can make popcorn outside of a microwave!

So, I am demonstrating how to pour the popcorn in to the popper and wait for it to pop.
About midway through the popping, the entire lid falls off and popcorn is flying EVEYWHERE!
Teenagers are laughing, I am laughing. Its a good time!
I make a joke, "Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this"
The seniors laugh harder. I laugh. Everyone is laughing and popcorn is poppin' like some freakin' apricot tree.

I am trying to unplug the darn popper,
when an unpopped kernal
flys out of the popper
and GOES DOWN MY SHIRT...
IT LANDS IN MY BRA...
AND STARTS BURNING MY BOOBIES!

Important info: even if a kernal does not pop. IT IS HECK-A-HOT!!!!!

What can I do?!
I have like 36 teenagers watching me...
and over half are boys.
I can't stick my hand down my shirt and pull out the molten kernal.
So I quickly ask, "any questions?"
Dismissed...
but one freshman kid (it's always a freshman)
comes up (just as I am about to pull the kernal from my burned bosom)
and asks for the work he'll miss next week, because he is going on vacation.

I want to YELL..."MY BOOB IS BEING BURNED AND YOU ARE TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR DAMN VACATION!"
but i didn't.
I used this as an excuse to run across the hall to collect his assignments from my classroom, all the while blowing down my shirt.

Excuse me,
I need to find the aloe.