Damn Toy

One of the things Brinley asked for was this walking FurReal Pup.
(its NOT the one that poops)
I picked this up in early December at Wal-mart
it is acitvated by light or movement and barked and shook my entire shopping trip.
I was quite annoyed with it...
and I hadn't even left the store.

This should be a sign for any sensible parent....
if a toy annoys you in the frickin' store....don't buy it...just imagine how it will annoy you later!
I am not sensible

I get home and get it inside
without Brinley hearing the damn thing

Later that night I was wrapping it
and noticed that it wasn't barking and shaking
"Good, the batteries ran out. Now it will be quiet until Christmas morning
and then I will just put new batteries in". I thought.

At one point I did lay awake worrying that the trip home from Wal-mart might have some how broken him...but decided to worry about it later.

That box has been moved and rearranged by each of my kids
at least 800 times
...with not a bark, pant or woof.

it is now two days before Christmas...
This afternoon Brinley bumped the box
and wouldn't you know it...
it barked, it panted, it shook.
I tried to pretend nothing was happening...
I left the room...
before she could ask.
then I heard her giggling....
and I knew she figured it out.

She told emily and daddy about the barking present...
she even told dad it walked

Now she is worried that it is the puppy that poops.

Holiday Plans

Its VERY early...
before 5am
and I am wide awake.
and super excited.
Only 3 more school days until Winter Break!!!!!!

I have so many plans of what I will do the next 2 weeks.
So many projects that need to be completed.

In hopes that I will stay motivated...
and NOT spend the next two weeks
on the couch
drinking cocoa and watching Elf, The Grinch, and It's A Wonderful Life
Here is my goal list:
(so that all of you will keep me off the couch)
1. Finish book 5 of Fablehaven
2. Start and finish the Hunger Games (i have been trying to read this since summer)
3. Finish my 12 month of Snowmen Quilt (I am about 1/3 done)
4. Finish the baby's quilt. (I am 1/2 way finished...and it is super cute)
5. Finish my Holiday table runner (so I can actually use it before christmas dinner)
6. Bake banana bread for all of Brad's work people
7. Bake cookies for santa with Emily and Brinley
8. Think of and deliver an economical and clever neighbor gift
9. Make the plaque to go next to my nativity set ( I have planned this for over a year and it's still not even started)
10. Christmas Cards ( I don't even have a picture yet)
11. Sew baby shoes (I found a really cute pattern on-line and have been thinking about making these soft sole shoes for MONTHS)
12. Decide on those last minute presents...buy them...wrap them...
13. Finish organizing recipes
14. Organize craft dungeon
15. organize Brin's room (so we can put up the crib)

on second thought....
cocoa and Elf sound way better!

never say this in front of teenagers!

what a week
i am pooped
but...
only 5 more school days until winter break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(the exclamation points are so you will know how excited I am)

Funny story happened this week

*warning*
if you are a prude...
please click on a more family friendly blog!

So my Foods 1 classes had to learn about eggs
so we went over the usual...parts, nutrition, color, etc
and then I had to demonstrate the three stages of beating egg whites.
For some reason, it was taking a long time to get to the third stage, which is stiff peak
So to cover the time I stopped my hand mixer and said,
"the longer you beat it the stiffer it gets"

So the kids at the naughty table started giggling.
(there is always a naughty table...the naughty kids flock together...
these are the kids you hope your kids aren't friends with...
because they are so "worldly" and know way more than a 15 year old should)

I am honestly confused by the laughter.
and must have looked puzzled
it made them laugh harder
so in my head I back-track what I just said....
and realize why the preverts are laughing...

and then I found it a tiny bit funny...
but under NO circumstances was I going to laugh.
so I had to turn around and pretend to look for a wisk....
it took me a while to find it...so I could compose my face...
when I turned back around I had my most disgusted teacher look on
and said, "you are all sicko perverts and should be ashamed of yourselves"...
then the whole class laughs and I can enjoy the fact that I said beat and stiff in the same sentence!

there is a 15 year old boy in all of us

90 days!

I have this pregnancy timer on my computer.
it keeps track of what week we are on
today, i clicked to see how many days are left...

90 days!

holy cow

90 days

on one hand that still seems like a REALLY long time!
(haven't I been pregnant FOREVER already)
on the other hand....
90 days is comin' pretty darn fast.
I still have so much more to do...
so many more packages of diapers to buy...
finish my two quilts...
put up the crib and bassinette...
wash the bouncer and swing...
find a carseat...
make sure the breast pump is working...
(sorry if that was too much info)

oh boy
90 days....

90 days until maternity leave!!!!!!!

90 days until my mom will come and stay with us
and make potato soup just for me!!!!

90 days until I have an excuse not to leave my house for at least 4 weeks!

90 days...
and then I will get to snuggle and cuddle and sniff the little man
we have been dreaming about for YEARS...

Black Friday Adventure

I seem to have a fan base that misses my blog posts! "'chelle, when are you going to update?" I keep hearing...granted this fan base is solely made up of my mom and my sister, Amber...heck I have to give the people what they want!

I LOVE black Friday! It is like my Christmas. I am one of the "crazies" that goes out at 3 am to stand in a line and freeze all in the name of Christmas Giving. In fact, one year I was sick and in serious pain, and still went. I the middle of my shopping, my mom finally convinced me to call my doctor...I did, set up an appointment, and went to 3 more stores. By the last store, I could barely walk and had to lean on the shopping cart. Later that day, I was admitted to the hospital for diverticulitis and had to stay for 3 days! Brad loves this story, because it shows that I am either very dedicated to Christmas Giving or Crazy...I can't remember which angle he goes with...;)

This year was different. i really wasn't up for standing in lines. I have completed a lot of my shopping on-line. There was nothing in Target's ad or Wal-Mart's that I really needed. My partner in crime, my sister Stephanie, had surgery on Tuesday and wasn't ready to stand in lines either. So I opted out...however...Old Navy had a few things Emily had asked for...and they opened at Midnight. I figured Brad and I could drive to Jordan Landing, after leaving my sister Jacki's (thanks for hosting Jacki, It was wonderful!) He and the kids would wait in the car and I would "run in and get the things I needed." I am not sure why I thought this...I am a Black Friday VETERAN...I know that one does not simply "run in and get the things one needs".

As we were leaving West Haven/Roy, Brad said, there is an old navy in Layton, we could go to the movies to kill a couple of hours and then go to the old navy there. Then came the task of finding: a) movie we both wanted to see and b) one we could take the kids to. In the end, Brad and Em wanted to see Mega Mind and Brin and I wanted to see Tangled. So off we went to purchase tickets. Now both movies we went to see had 3-D times...did you know you pay more for 3-D?...neither did we...when our cashier said, "38 dollars please". I gasped... Brad pooped his pants....Needless to say, we did not purchase treats. Brinley and I LOVED Tangled. and the 3-D was AMAZING! At first, Brin kept trying to touch things. Brad and Em thought MegaMind was "good".

We left our expensive movie memory about 11:45 and went to the Layton Old Navy...the line...oh my...I tried to text my sisters and mom....Finally they said they were near the front, but I didn't want to leave my spot, because the doors were going to open any second. My sister, Amber asked what I most wanted so she could grab it for me. If I got out of line, they could be in the store and then I would be a girl without a spot...so I waited and got in the store.

It was crowded. I found my mom and sister, they had the item I wanted most. And then I shopped, pushed and bumped into people. My arms were full, I lost my mom and sisters, so I just got in line to pay...only to discover this wasn't the line....I moved...where the store associate told me I should....only to have another associate move us again....I put my stuff on the floor, dug out my cell phone to find my mom and sisters. They didn't seem that far ahead of me...so I stayed put...only to have the line move AGAIN. I tried to find my mom, couldn't see her and wasn't willing to loose THIS spot.

At this point, I did not feel good. I was hot and tired and thinking that Brad was right...I am CRAZY for doing this! I put my stuff down, dug out my phone and told him I was starting to question if this was worth it. He reminded me of the time I had spent and the 38 dollars we spent to see a movie. So I picked back up my stuff and continued to wait. The people in front of me were really bugging me. and the line NEVER MOVED...for over 20 minutes...it was at a stand still, we didn't even shuffle. I was hot, bugged, and feeling dizzy. Then my sister called and said they were ready to pay, i looked up and saw my mom looking for me through the polar fleece...

now I may be in my thirties, I have my own home, my own kids and a career....but when I saw her...my heart jumped for joy and I thought, MY MOMMY is here to save me!

So my sisters made a big deal about my looking so sick and pulled me into the line with them...I am not sure if they played this sick card for the people behind them or because I actually did look awful...but I really didn't feel good and let them make a fuss. I payed for my purchases...argued over a sale price...payed for the argued items...and left...to hug my sisters and mommy for saving me from the WORST BLACK FRIDAY ADVENTURE EVER!

I love this time of year...
I can't wait for next year...

Eating Healthy

I have been reading these books by Michael Pollan and he talks about how unhealthy the American diet is. The main idea of the books is we need to get away from so much of the processed crap we put into our mouths and return to how our great-grandparents ate. He states, "if your great-grandparents wouldn't recoginize it (or the ingredients) as food...don't eat it". It makes sense, if your grandma wanted waffles in the morning, did she throw an egg-o in the toaster? No, she got out of bed and made them...from scratch...and she probably had to walk to the chicken coop to get the eggs!

In an effort to "return to basic ingredients" I have tried to get my family to eat more of the "basics". I do not buy quick rice mixes anymore, I read labels on juice and don't buy ones with corn syrup, and I have been trying to use half whole wheat flour when ever I can sneak it in.

Now I am FULLY aware that for weeks, I have been obsessing over mcdonald's pumpkin pie shakes, which are not "basic"...but we are taking baby steps, here people(...and don't judge my pregnancy cravings.)

Anywho, on Halloween morning I made pumpkin pancakes. I used a recipe I got from the twopeasandtheirpod website. They were good, everyone liked them, especially my niece Madison. They had half whole wheat flour and no one knew! The cinnamon syrup was also good...but even better if you did a little maple with it. Well, I found another recipe on line for pumpkin pancakes which claimed to be SUPER healthy and delicious. Since I was awake at 5 am I whipped them up.

they called for whole wheat flour, I can't do that...Emily can tell everytime. So I did half and half. The recipe went on as usual, but then it called for aguave nectar....dang! i used up the last of my aguave nectar last week. (just kidding...I am not 100% sure what aguave nectar is, let alone if I can find it in Tooele, Utah!) The recipe said I could substitute honey. I had that.

As i was heating up my griddle, I tasted the batter...it was NOT good.
Now, I teach Foods; I know that pancake batter does not and is not supposed to taste good. It's not cake batter, but it should taste like SOMETHING! So I added more honey.

After all the pancakes were cooked, I ate one...WITH LOTS OF SYRUP. (I need to ask Mr. Pollan is this counts in the "back to basics" movement)

Conclusion: the pumpkin pancakes from two peas were way better...and while maybe not as "basic" they are made from scratch and did have some whole wheat.

Maybe it was the lack of aguave nectar?
Probably not.

sick days

Sick days....oh how I miss thee
I will be the first to admit it,
in the past i have been somewhat reckless in using my sick days.
Brad and I joking called them, "mental health days".
I would claim that me or one of the kids was sick and take the day off of work.
I would clean or craft or watch Law and Order:SVU marathons

Sometimes I took so many "mental health days" that if my kids (or I) did actually get sick
i would panic that I had any leave left.

But this year, I have to save all my sick days for maternity leave.
Which means I have not taken one, not one "mental health day"
and it's second quarter!

Some mornings, the alarm goes off
and I want to call in sick
oh yeah-need those days for maternity leave.

Some nights, I wonder...Is Brinley getting sick?
oh yeah-she can't...I need to save for maternity leave

My 1st class will be obnoxious
and I want to leave
oh yeah-need the day for maternity leave.

Tomorrow, my two friends from my department are going to a sewing conference in Park City.
We get to stay overnight.
the principal paid for it
(it did not occur to him that two of us do not teach sewing...my BRILLIANT department head said things like, "we collaborate with other teachers, it gives a chance to network, etc"...and he paid for it)
I get to sew and listen to one of my favorite crafty bloggers talk

I am hoping this conference will rejuvenate me,
just like a good old "Mental Health Day"!

pregnancy brain or trials of an insomniac

I have had one doozy of a week.
thank heavens it is almost friday
and friday is a half day for the kids at school
then i will lock my classroom door
and forget that this week ever happened

I forget what I am saying mid-sentence
I have lost my keys 100 times
(both personal and school sets)
I have lost my phone 500 times
one time I thought I lost it and spent 30 minutes looking for it...
I looked in the car, my purse, 2 desks, the filing cabinet, the kitchen drawers, EVERYWHERE!
only to realize I had tucked it into my bra strap

I had to send 2 kids to the office
for offenses
only there is no proof
so the office sends them back
and they glare at me the rest of the day
Administration is sick of me
(but I am sick of them)
so we are even

I graded a quiz
finished about 60
only to realize
i used the wrong answer key

it's the end of the quarter
so all the loser's who can't turn in their work on time are trying to sneak it in
I told one kid it was too late to turn in that assignment...it was due August 29
and then accepted the same assignment from another kid.
now I have to go back and tell kid #2 it was too late or take the first kids assignment.

I forget what I am about to say
I repeat what I have already said

I wandered around Macy's for 15 minutes
because I forgot I needed dish soap (aisle 12)
then I forgot I needed garlic powder (aisle 2)
then i remembered i needed sour cream (back by aisle 12)
then I remembered i needed cream cheese (by aisle 2)
and the worst part is: I HAD A SHOPPING LIST with me and it is broken down by departments! (the proof that I spend 1/3 of my life grocery shopping is that I know what the aisles are numbered...and it is THE ONLY thing i can remember right now)

I am in charge of ward baptisms next weekend and had to call a parent THREE times in a row
because I kept forgetting to ask what her son wanted.
Pretty sure she is nervous about me being in charge of the program now!

My work friends just laugh when I describe all my trials...
they say, "oh the joys of pregnancy brain"
I am worried that if "pregnancy brain" is the problem,
I will be a complete idiot and drooling into a cup by January.
Brad thinks it may have something to do with the fact i only get 3 hours of sleep a night.
I think I may be so scattered brained because I spend a great deal of my time thinking about how hungry I am. Only nothing sounds good...except for pumpkin pie shakes at mcdonalds. and then my friend Natalie brought me a PUMPKIN CRISPY CREAM DONUT! i litteraly died and went to pumpkin nirvana. I was glad she gave it to me and left my classroom, because i really moaned as I ate it.

The cafeteria fish sticks were the third BEST tasting thing I have eaten all week
and that alone scares me...seriously who LIKES cafeteria fish sticks...it grosses me out to even think about liking them. But I did.

I was in bed by 7:30 last night
I had drifted off to sleep
and my cell phone rang a little before 8pm
and I literally jumped up thinking it was time to wake up for the day

I almost wished it had been...
I would be that much closer to the weekend.

Is it weird?

Is it weird that I was in bed before 8, asleep before 9, awake at midnight, and STILL awake at 3AM?

Is it weird that the only way I can fall back asleep on nights like this is to write an asinine blog post?

Is it weird that I am eating green olives straight out of the jar at 3am?

Is it weird that all I want, right now, is a pumpkin pie shake from McDonald's?

Is it weird that, right now, I could literally spread pumpkin on a piece of toast and eat it?

Is it weird that my FIVE year old told me at dinner "not to clear her place, because she wasn't done eating, but had to go and check her game on the computer." Then when I tell her to finish eating, she pouts and immediately decides she is done...so she can check her game on the computer?

Is it weird that this same FIVE year old told the babysitter we are naming her new brother "Popsicle"?

Is it weird that Brinley's teacher sent home a note asking for parents to donate a bag of mini-marshmallows...only now I can't find the note. So I am worried I am sending Brinley with a bag of marshmallows and I may have dreamed the entire "note".

Is it weird that I needed to scald some milk for a bread recipe at work and accidentally set the microwave for 40 minutes instead of 4....and did not notice until a student said, "umm, Mrs. Smith, there is smoke coming out of your microwave"?

Is it weird that I then tried to salvage the plastic measuring cup. I soaked it overnight and yesterday tried to scape off the gunk...only to realize that I had scrapped the entire top off of the melted plastic?

Is it weird that I spent 35 minutes of my prep class playing spider solitaire instead of correcting papers? (ok it was really closer to an hour)

Is it weird I almost tried to talk Emily into a "less-than-modest" halloween costume...only because it would have saved me the trouble of having to sew one...before the ward party on Friday?

Is it weird that there are no boy receiving blankets at Wal-mart and I woke up in a PANIC thinking I would have to wrap my son in PINK blankies?

Is it weird that I taped a picture of my ultra sound to the board at work and wrote "it's a boy" underneath. When a freshman boy (its always a freshman) exclaimed "your pregnant?!" his girl friend leaned over and whispered "that's why she is so bitchy" and instead of getting mad, I laughed hysterically and told her, "honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet"

Funny Kids

My kids are funny!

Emily was questioning a post Brad put on Facebook. It was about Breast Cancer and she was wondering how women found out if they had cancer. So I was explaining how a doctor feels for lumps and may do an "x-ray". Emily was sort of disgusted and asked, "what kind of doctor does that? A Boobieologist?" Brad and I laughed so hard...
and then Brad said if that was a field of study, he would have tried harder in high school!

Brinley was telling Brad that if he doesn't want to wear ties to work, his boss can't make him.
Brad: "Brin, you have to do what your boss says."
Brin: "tell him you don't want to"
Brad: "my boss is a woman, don't be sexist"
Brin: "Dad, I don't have sexes, I am only 5"

In other news, we bought our first BLUE baby outfit yesterday...
It was wierd...I kept looking at all the pink stuff and had to remind myself to look at blue.
Guess 11+ years of habit is hard to break!

snips and snails...puppy dog tails..

Is this grainy picture not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen!?

Tomorrow I will be 20 weeks!

We are half way there...baby!

For WEEKS now we have been wondering what sort of bean I am carrying.

Is it a girl or a boy?

EVERYONE was guessing boy.

Friends, Emily, students at school,

I was starting to feel a lot of pressure.

On Tuesday, the girls and I had dentist appointments. The hygienists, receptionist and dentist all bet it was a boy.

For the first time in my life, I completely understood how Henry VIII felt...

it's a lot of pressure to produce a male heir...

and I don't even rule a kingdom...

let alone contribute that darn Y chromosome!

We would have been fine either way...

I worried that everyone else would be bummed for us.

and their bummed reaction would make me sad.

(its the oldest child in me...I need to make everyone happy)

Today we had our ultra-sound.

Let me ask, if we can put a man on the moon, bomb countries by satellite, and have cell phones that get access to anything on the Internet...

why haven't we invented an ultra-sound machine that works with an empty bladder!

In other words, they made my drink 5 to 8 cups of water and then expected me to hold it.

and naturally they were behind!

My bladder is only the size of a walnut!

I couldn't even stand up straight for fear I would leak. Honestly, I walked around the hospital sort of bent over!

then my funny boy husband tried to make a joke...I had to squeeze (so as not to pee) while smacking him.

Do not tell me about kegels....I will smack you!

So the tech took four or five pictures and let me pee before we continued...

I loved her.

She took lots of measurements...

and found a "something".

We cried.

A couple minutes later, I asked, " what percentage do you think its a boy"

she said, "97%, but we will look again"

Later, she went to look...

and the umbilical cord was in the way...

AND SHE STARTED TO DOUBT!

So after A LOT of jiggling, bouncing and turning...

she found it!

Now,
someone needs to tell me how to change a baby boys diaper!

(and Erin, please explain to Austin that it is a boy...but not the seven year old playmate he has been dreaming of! No way am I delivering that!!!)

Another Middle of the Night Ramble

I was in bed at 8:30pm
Sound asleep before 9pm
awake at 11:30
still awake at 2:30am

I NEED TO SLEEP!

I have to much on my mind...
hopefully if I list it all here...
my mind will turn off and I can get at least 3 hours of sleep before my alarm goes off.
So in no particular order:

* I have to collect for pennies by the inch (ick)
*we have dentist appts tomorrow (double ick)
*should I just let my class cook tomorrow (oops, today). I have an assignment all ready...but honestly, my life is easier when I just let them cook. But then I will have to go to the store...AGAIN.
*I have sharing time on Sunday, planning how/what to do. I have a hard time planning Junior Sharing time.
*i love fall
*i wonder if KOSY radio station will play Christmas music right after Halloween...HOPE SO! I LOVE IT! It drives Brad crazy, but I think Christmas should start on November 1st, I would totally put up my tree...if Brad would carry it in from the garage. He won't.
* I love pumpkin.
in the last week I have made:
1-Pumpkin Scones with Cinnamon Chips-so yummy and so good with hot chocolate
2-Pumpkin Cupcakes
3-Pumpkin Whoopie Pies-I made these last night after dinner. It was like a homemade oreo, but with out the chocolate...think pumpkin roll in cookie form....they were yummy. Emily (who said she doesn't like pumpkin) ate two.
Did you know that there was a pumpkin shortage last year? I did, but only because:
a) I spend 1/3 of my life in the grocery store and b) I visit a lot of foodie blogs.
It seems Libby could not harvest all of the pumpkins and that created a shortage. A case of Libby Pumpkin just sold on e-bay for almost $60! Wal-mart hasn't had pumpkin in over 9 months...Macy's has some. I am thinking of buying a case or 2 and waiting to see if the pumpkin crisis is over...if not, I am selling on e-bay...and paying for Christmas!

*The biggest news of all: WE ARE HAVING AN ULTRA SOUND ON FRIDAY! WE (HOPEFULLY) WILL KNOW IF WE ARE HAVING A BOY OR GIRL!
all I can say, is this little bean had better cooperate and give us a good look at his/her "parts"..or else I will have to sell pumpkin on e-bay, to pay for the ultra-sound at the mall!

Crisis + Time = Humor

Last week, my friend Natalie from work and I took 3 girls from school to the FCCLA Leadership Conference in Layton. (FCCLA is what FHA was for all of us in high school back in the stone ages. If you have never heard of either...google it)
Oh my word! the advisor classes were so mind numbingly dull!
At one point I was thinking, I won't be able to come next year, because I will have a nursing baby. And then I wished I could start using that excuse NOW to get out of the advisor meetings. It was pure torture....worse...the classes were "taught" by other teachers....I really hope I am not that boring.

The only entertaining event was the keynote speaker on Tuesday night.
I can't remember his name (JP or RJ?), he is from Utah State, and he was so funny!
I almost peed my pants...THREE times!

He was talking to the 200 or so teens (and their advisers) from across the state about being a good leader. One key to being a good leader, is to NOT take your self too serious.

He said that in any situation, we must remember that crisis + time = humor.
He then told several "crisis" moments in his own life, that given enough time makes him laugh.
The audience was laughing right along.

It would be just my luck that I had the chance on Friday to experience my own "crisis".
My classes were making cupcakes, and Macy's was out of cupcake liners. So on my way to school I stopped at Albertson's to get some. I found them and then at the end of the aisle, I found cute Halloween ones and they were cheaper! SCORE! I stuff the first packages on some random shelf....and in the process dropped my cell phone. The battery door popped off and my battery flew under the shelf! Great, So as I am getting on to my hands and knees to see if I can retrieve my battery, I think "I am glad I am not at Wal-mart, there floors are way dirty". Guess what? At close range Albertson's stores are not that clean. My battery is under this tiny, dirt encrusted shelf...I can't reach it! So I dig a pen out of my purse to try and drag it to me...just then a worker comes by and looks at me and says, "uhhhh mam, do you need help" I WANTED TO CRAWL UNDER THE SHELF...DIRT AND ALL. No I squeaked, I am just trying to get my cell battery. the worker watched me for a second and walked away. I got my battery, shoved it in my purse and used self checkout ...so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone, let alone look them in the eye.

I know that on the security camera it shows me...with my fanny in the air...trying to get my darn cell battery. I also have nightmares of the employees rewinding the tape and watching it over and over.

I called Brad, once I had reassembled my phone and told him I was calling in sick and going back to bed.
Do you know what he said?

"Crisis + time = humor"

Butt head...
I will NEVER tell him what I learned at Conference again.

Movement!

I felt my little bean of baby move this weekend.
I thought I had felt it for a few days...but wasn't positive until Saturday.
It is so cool and my favorite part of being pregnant!
(remind me of that in a month or two)

Now everyday, I come home from work, eat a snack and sit still just so I can feel that little stirring...

Now, more than ever, I want to know if we are having a he or she!
I have a doctors appointment on Monday...my last with this Ob
(she is moving)
and Brad and I are going to request (i.e...demand) that she order the 20 week ultrasound
with any luck...we will find out in a week or so...

I have my "cute" text announcement all planned...a version for a girl or boy...

and then...

I can start buying baby stuff!

(and hiding the receipts from Brad)

Please tell me it's a generational thing

About a month ago, President Obama addressed the nations school children. I didn't know it was happening until I got the pre-recorded message from the school district giving me (as a parent) the option to have my children watch it or not.

Last years address, made me realize how completely ignorant we have become as a society.
What ever happened to teaching our children to RESPECT the office of president?
Now, we are so into being politically correct; monitoring everything we see or hear, so that no one is has to think differently.

The most amazing thing is that teachers are given the right to choose to show the address or not. And some at the High School made their politcal position known, by refusing to show it. THESE ARE COLLEGE EDUCATED ADULTS! and they can't listen to a simple 20 minute message! AIMED AT CHILDREN!!!

So the time is drawing near, we are to announce whether we will show it in our classrooms and simple invite those who don't want to listen to go to the commons. So about 8 or 9 kids leave. Then I say, If you can not be respectful, you may leave. That was enough for the freshman boys, and 6 or 7 left. On their way out, one kid in my class yelled, "Canada's borders are open!"

I decided right then and their to give that kid an A....no matter what he does for the rest of the quarter.

So I am getting whitehouse.gov on my projector, when a girl comes in and quietly tells me she is checking out because she CAN'T watch....and then she points to the screen. The twerp won't even say Obama's name! and by golly I wanted her to say Obama's name! But she just kept pointing to the screen and the door, like at any minute, Obama was going to start hypnotizing us! Finally, I said, "just go to the commons with everyone else". she said "no I have to check out for the rest of the day". And I said, "are you ill?" No, I just have to leave. And she looks over my shoulder, so I glance back and see her mom in the hall, giving me the biggest crusty/defiant look....hands on hips....ready to pounce stance....as if to challenge my decision to show the speech. I roll my eyes and let her go.

Another senior boy, left to call his mommy, to see if he was allowed to watch the speech...he never came back....he is already 18...he can vote and be drafted...but mommy said no.

So the speech starts, it was all about staying in school, trying your hardest, and getting involved. I didn't hear or see any socialist agenda; talk of health care, bank bailouts, etc... If I am being perfectly honest, it was less formal than last years address and a tad redundant.

So the speech ends and all of the "peasants" who could not listen come back to class. We do not discuss the speech. We simply start the class, like I would any other day. I think the "peasants" may have been a little dissapointed...they "kept asking what did he say". the kid with the canada remark said, "Guess if you wanted to know, you should have stayed".

(Its hard to be a "peasant"; the more educated and open-minded people never share their knowledge. So their are stuck in a politcally correct world...not having to think or judge for themselves.)

The most maddening thing is that if Mitt Romney had a snowballs chance in Hades to win the last election, and then spoke to the nations school children. Most of Utah's parents would force their children to watch...and take notes...and maybe play conference bingo... and then hump is leg after...

So I realize that all of this starts at home, Monday night Emily brought me her permission slip to watch. She asked if I would just check NO. Because last years speech "was boring"...sorry i said, you were born into the wrong family. and proudly checked YES ( i may have even circled and underlined yes)...so when Brad got home she tried with him....since he is from the other political party...sorry he said, when the President speaks, you listen. Emily rolled her eyes and stomped upstairs, probably wishing she was born into some "peasants" family.

It is my hope, that in 20 or so years, her kids will come and ask her to check no on the permission slip. and she will be able to say, "sorry you were born into the wrong family...in this house...we listen to the President."

Weekend Review

Brad had a "guys weekend" at the cabin in Wyoming.
He went there to close it up for winter.
His brother, Evan and my brother in laws, Jef and Keith went with him
They made a few stops in Evanston to purchase things that (ahem) can not be found in Utah and made it to the cabin a little after midnight.
It must be a guy thing, but they took a bigger TV and an Xbox.
Weird-os


Since it was just me and the girls all weekend, I had all of these plans to make soup every night for dinner.

Brad does not care for soup.

Some of you may have heard about the incident last fall, when I had the nerve to make soup 3 nights in a row. Now I would like to point out that all 3 were form scratch and it was a DIFFERENT soup each night. I did not open a can and call it dinner.
Brad was so bugged he complained to the neighbors about what a mean wife he has.
All I say is "what did you make for dinner?"
Nothing.
Eat your soup buddy.
(I would also like to point out I ALWAYS make some sort of bread to go with soup.)


Anyhoo..I wasn't in the mood for soup while he was gone. ( I was still craving salmon)


Emily and I did watch Letters to Juliet (twice) and liked it.


We saw my mom on Saturday.


Brin was sick Sunday morning.


Sunday afternoon Emily fell out of a tree.
She can't walk.
The ER docs couldn't see a break on the x-ray but since there are a lot of growth plates in the foot we have to see a specialist on Thursday.

She is on crutches.
At first she thought they were super cool.
Now...not so much
We on the other hand are having heartattacks everytime she stumbles or drops a crutch.
Crutches+eleven year old=not graceful

Here she is in the ER
(yes I take pics in the ER. Its a scrap-able moment)

Brad came home Sunday evening.

He and the guys had driven the van to Wyoming.

anyone have an idea how to get rid of stinky man smell out of a car?

Harvest

So I am not a great gardener.
Every year I want to channel my inner Martha Stewart and plant an
amazing garden.


But I don't actually enjoy gardening.
(its dirty and it's hot outside)



This year we made a small attempt to improve our tomato yield
and moved where we plant.
Brad even built a nifty box for our 3 tomato plants and 2 "zuquooney"
(thats what we call it at our house)



I had every intention of watering and weeding....

I remembered every couple of days and sent the girls out to do it.


Well, our half-butt attempt is proving fruitful!
We have tomatoes running out our ears!
Yesterday morning I sent the girls to pick the red ones and this is what they came back with.













I admit I was pretty impressed.



If I gave gardening a real try...
I could start my own farmers market.







But then reality set in...
"What in the hell am I gonna do with all these tomatoes?"

Brad was in Wyoming all weekend,
So I made a big batch of Cowboy Salsa
and took it and the girls to West Haven for a visit with my mom
(who is babysitting for my sister)
We ate the salsa and had a nice visit.

Only to drive home and see the bowl of tomatoes STILL sitting there.
I think they multiplied while I was gone,
I mean I did chop up 7 or 8 for salsa. And the bowl was still FULL.

So I did what any self-respecting FACS teacher would do.
I made 18 cups of tomato sauce to freeze!
I cooked up 2 different kinds.
One was a roasted tomato sauce.
and the other was one I adapted from Giada.

The only down side to my sauce making is that I have this teeny, wimpy food processor. It was taking forever to puree the sauce. Then about half way through, I remembered I have an immersion blender! I can just blend it right in the pot.
I'm a little absent minded lately.

Here is all my effort at sauce making.
Looks pretty cool.








The roasted tomato sauce was my favorite.

I can't wait to use it on homemade pizza.







As for our Zuquooney, I made a chocolate zuquooney cake last night. It was pretty good. The can of frosting I used helped a lot.

Now, I wonder if I will ever get the tomato pulp out from under my fingernails.

Cravings

one of the worst things about being preggers
is the cravings!
I have these INTENSE food cravings
I OBSESS about a certain food
until I get it
and then I am fine.

My cravings this week
1-candy corn (I polished off a bag in like 4 days...i had help from em and brin)
2-cheese (and not any cheese will do...I want manchego or a crumbly gorgonzola...yummm...good thing costco carries both of these!)
3-watermelon-thursday in the cafeteria they have watermelon.
4-Salmon
I wanted salmon so bad I was tempted to have my Foods class prepare it, just so I could demonstrate cooking it first! But since I can barely afford to have my classes prepare chicken, I would have a hard time justifing salmon. I even looked up a recipe for canned salmon...you can make it into a "loaf" (I bet Erin is gagging at that. sorry i know how you feel about "loafs")
Brad kindly took me to Applebee's for dinner so I could order Salmon.
It was delish!
and since I didn't have to cook I FINALLY was able to eat and ENJOY dinner!

But...
Brad took a bite of my Applebee's salmon,
and said, "you make it better".

He's right.
My salmon is better
(and not quite as dry)
So now
I REALLY want MY Salmon.

damn cravings

(maybe my Omega 3 levels are low)

Working "Outside"

The other day I was having a conversation with a woman in my ward.
She asked if I would continue working "outside" my home after the baby was born.
I told her I would take 6 weeks off and then go back to finish out the year.
"Oh, then you will be at home?"
Well, i said, "until school starts up in August."
The look she gave me was a mix 1-of complete horror 2- pity 3-a bit of disgust
she then ended our conversation.


Over the last 12 years I have dealt with this...
a lot.
Being a working "outside" the home mom is hard.
Being a Mormon mom who works "outside" is impossible.


I do not need for anyone to leave a copy of Presidents Benson talk from 20+ years ago in my door.
(this happened...with highlighted areas)
I also do not need you to quote the Proclamation to me...I have one in my living room... thank you.


You see, I can quote prophets too.
I can justify my life decisions with the scriptures just as well as the next person.


It has taken a long time for me to come to this acceptance with myself, my family, my religion and my career.

I am ashamed to say, that at one point, It was this very thing that I used as my excuse to become inactive.


I am a Mormon mom who works "outside".
I am trying, just like you are to fit everything together.
Sometimes, I am not very good at the puzzle.
But none of us are...that's why were here...to learn.


I do not need your pity.
I do not need special treatment.
I do not need your judgement.
I do not need you to compare your busy day with mine.
I know we all have busy days and stress and schedules and meetings and callings and practices and dinner to get on the table.

I do not work to pay for my wants.
We don't vacay in fancy places...we go to Pinedale, Wyoming
We don't wear fancy clothes...I am excited if I get to shop at Target and Kohl's is next to Christmas in my book
We don't have expensive toys.
And most months we struggle to get from paycheck to paycheck.
Just like you do.

I know I may complain, wail and gnash my teeth.
It's not a cry for pity.
Somedays I don't want to go to work
Just like you don't want to deal with morning rush and carpool drama and running kids to practice
but we all do what we have to do
For ourselves and our families

You should see their parents!

Somedays, I have to shake my head at the teenagers in my classes.

Other days I go home and have fake arguments to myself and say all of the things that the law or my union forbids me say. (Ask Emily, she always asks "are you talking to yourself or a student?")

Sometimes I wonder, "who are your parents?"

well, I met some of them over the last 2 days at Parent Teacher Conferences
and let me tell you...



the kids are normal
compared the FREAKY parents we have in Tooele.


One freshman boy's mom is dating a kid I taught 3 years ago...
WEIRD!
(i use the word taught loosely...he NEVER came to class)


Another mom could NOT understand why her kid had an F.
"He only has missed 6 classes and has not turned in 7 assignments...
and did not take the test..."
but how DARE I give him an F!
"you really need to come up with a better grading system" she said
Ummmm-Bi*** you need to get your kid to school
(I didn't say this...but I thought it...SEVERAL times)
I peeked at his midterm...
straight F's
Guess we all need a "better grading system"


Another mom STUNK so bad
I had to breathe out of my mouth to keep from dry heaving...
but that didn't help because then I could sort of "taste" the funk.
The smell was a mix of garbage and (how should I say) "woman's monthly" that needed to be taken care of...a week ago.
It was disgusting.


I had two sets of parents that had to bring an interpreter because they didn't speak English.
I was never sure who I should look at...the parent or the interpreter...
so my eyes kept darting back and forth
I know I looked all "shifty"
(and I got a little dizzy)


Another parent lamented the fact that her teenage son will not speak to her...
at all.
She went on and on about how close they use to be...they went to the store together, church, ball games, practices....trust me it went on and on and on.

then a mother told me all about the troubles in her marriage...

RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER TEENAGE DAUGHTER!

(trust me, her daughter did not need to hear about their sex life...

neither did I, for that matter)

at this point I sent a text to Brad about my being a family/marriage counselor. His response was, Since my department insists on being called Family and Consumer Sciences (instead of Home Ec) I need to be ready for such things.

the next parent teacher conference is in December.

I will be charging extra for family counseling.

Crazy Week Wrap-up

I am so glad this week is over.
It was CRAZY!
(This coming week will be almost as hectic...but hopefully not as CRAZY!)

Brad, my super smart husband, fixed my crashed (PINK) laptop AND managed to save my files! Including the pictures I had saved of my Dad. I am so happy and relieved.

I graded all but one period's midterms...It took forever
and I thought my hand would fall off.

My horrible TA still has self-esteem, even though I told him he was fired...
and locked my treats in the closet.

The primary activity was a success.
Even my "too cool for primary" 11 year old admitted (grudgingly) it was fun.
The flavored breads/quick breads/whatever bread were a huge hit.
Only one kid complained...and she ended up eating 2 and half pieces.

Speaking of Primary...let me vent for a moment about some of the women in Relief Society.
"Attention women in Relief Society, Primary is NOT 2 hour free day care for you. We are there to serve and teach YOUR children. When we need help, we would appreciate YOUR help. Do not make the RS President come and help...her children are already grown. I realize that you see this 2 hour block as YOUR time...but your spirit can be just as uplifted serving in Primary. Thank You!"

excuse me, while I step off my soapbox

Whoo-that has been bothering me for a few hours.

Brinley has decided that her day at school is determined by whether or not her recess is long or short. If it is long, she had a great day...if it was short, boy, do I hear about it later.

Emily did not win student body elections.
It was very sad and there were a few tears shed...on both our parts.
It hurt to see her so disappointed.
But she looked at me and said, she learned somethings and to try harder.
(I will admit that I shed a few more tears after she said that.)

My Foods 2 classes planned and prepared their meals on Friday. It went so well! There wasn't a bad meal in the bunch. It almost made the hour long shopping trip and $300 grocery bill worth it. It did not make up for the mean old guy at Macy's who kept staring at me and make snotty comments about how much food I was buying. If Brad hadn't been there, I may have punched the old man.

I do owe Brad an apology.
Apparently I crossed some boundary when I discussed our issues with fiber pills in the previous post...
I had NO idea that the guy who can go to church and discuss "snail trails" had any boundaries.
I apologize...

for now!

Ramblings of the Sleep Deprived

Its 2:30 am and i am wide awake.
I am also starving.
unfortunately, whenever I open my 'fridge
I start dry heaving.
so i am eating cheez-it crackers and a Phineus and Ferb
fruit snack...I hid from Brinley earlier

I cant't sleep.
I am having one doozy of a week

It's midterms at school
I have this entire basket of stuff that needs to graded
by 3:00 Friday.
One of my TA's is a lousy corrector.
I told him today,
he is worthless.
He laughed
Don't worry about his self-esteem...
last week I told him to "go and get a piece of gum out of my desk
because he had the worst coffee breath".
(yes---I said EXACTLY that)
He laughed...
and now helps himself to EVERYTHING in my desk...
including the Phineus and Ferb fruit snacks I took to work
(to hide from Brinley)

My PINK laptop crashed on Tuesday,
(did I mention it is Midterms this week)
I had just spent 2 hours working on a power point for class.
Brad got it started enough for me to email my power point to myself-
so I could use it at work.
Unfortunately the crash destroyed all of my pictures and animations.
So i emailed myself this skeleton looking presentation
and naturally didn't notice until 15 minutes before class.

I have a Primary Activity on Saturday.

I have to go to Salt Lake sometime before Friday for blood work.

Brinley won't wear this cute jumper...because she said "people will think she is a farmer"
The jumper isn't even denim...it's tan with pink flowers...from Gymboree...How many farmers wear Gymboree?! (I did not buy this, it is a hand-me-down from my super cooler sister)

I think I am getting a cold, my throat hurts and my nose has started to run.

Emily has started Orchestra again, which makes my Wednesday and Friday mornings extra fun.
She has to be to the junior high at 7:45 and I am supposed to be at work by 7:30. Naturally it is not Tooele Jr High but the other one...across town.
Super fun.
I love spending my mornings YELLING at her to hurry...
dropping her off with a "Have a good day and I love you"...
even though I just spent the last 20 minutes yelling.
makes this maternal working mom guilt go into overdrive

She is also running for student body vice prez and made it past the primaries. They did final votes on Wednesday and so we should find out today. Cross your fingers!

I had a meeting, Wednesday night, at the new Tooele County Community Learning Center. It is a gorgous building with great equipment and technology. It did make me think, "is this why we haven't heard how much equipment/supply money my deptartment gets this year?" Cynical, I know...but, after seeing it, I have a feeling the budget amounts are going to be way down.

Ya know, how when you are pregnant your digestive systems slow way down
(i will try and put this as delicately as possible)
and then prenatal vitamins make the problem even worse?
well I have been trying to combat the "slow down" with fiber pills.
Brad takes one and almost has to call in sick the next morning, because it "speeds" things up.
I am taking THREE a day...not really helping.

this last ramble is proof....
I really need sleep.
I really need to correct papers.
Luckily, my TA today is better at correcting,
and even better...
she doesn't have coffee breath.

Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this!

Ya know the feeling,
"Why me?"
That was my experience 6th period today.
Why me?

I was showing my Foods 1 class how to use a hot air popcorn popper...
Believe it or not, but most kids today have NO IDEA that you can make popcorn outside of a microwave!

So, I am demonstrating how to pour the popcorn in to the popper and wait for it to pop.
About midway through the popping, the entire lid falls off and popcorn is flying EVEYWHERE!
Teenagers are laughing, I am laughing. Its a good time!
I make a joke, "Martha Stewart never has to deal with crap like this"
The seniors laugh harder. I laugh. Everyone is laughing and popcorn is poppin' like some freakin' apricot tree.

I am trying to unplug the darn popper,
when an unpopped kernal
flys out of the popper
and GOES DOWN MY SHIRT...
IT LANDS IN MY BRA...
AND STARTS BURNING MY BOOBIES!

Important info: even if a kernal does not pop. IT IS HECK-A-HOT!!!!!

What can I do?!
I have like 36 teenagers watching me...
and over half are boys.
I can't stick my hand down my shirt and pull out the molten kernal.
So I quickly ask, "any questions?"
Dismissed...
but one freshman kid (it's always a freshman)
comes up (just as I am about to pull the kernal from my burned bosom)
and asks for the work he'll miss next week, because he is going on vacation.

I want to YELL..."MY BOOB IS BEING BURNED AND YOU ARE TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR DAMN VACATION!"
but i didn't.
I used this as an excuse to run across the hall to collect his assignments from my classroom, all the while blowing down my shirt.

Excuse me,
I need to find the aloe.

Smith family parties are NOT for children

We celebrated Brad's bithday and Labor Day with a Barbeque at our home.
Brad's Aunt Bit always brings the cake.
She works at Schmidt's Bakery
which not only has amazing goodies...(the eclairs are to die for.)
They make a yummy cake.

Usually the cakes are full of beautiful flowers and are so pretty it is almost a shame to cut into the perfection...
but then you remember the yumminess that awaits and you just take a picture to remember the beauty.

Sometimes Aunt Bit has the cake decorated with cartoon characters or match box cars.

For Brad's she went a completely different route...


(if you are a bit prudish, you may want to click on a more wholesome blog)

Yep, this is the cake she brought.

You can order one for your next event...Be it a bachelor party, divorce party, or your nephew's birthday!

The cake is called "Dirty Sue".

We all called her "Crack-Whore Sue".

Aunt Bit assures us she is anatomically correct under her frosting bra and g-string.

Brad said, "chelle and I will find out later" wink...wink...wink...

on my part, I went, puke...puke...puke ;)

The best part about the cake is that Brinley is totally convinced that Daddy is going to give her his new "Barbie".

Aunt Bit also mentioned that there is a male version...they put him on a bear skin rug.

just in case you ladies want to order one for a bachlorette party, divorce party, or your neice's birthday.

Insecurities

Insecurities
I have a few
About what? (you may ask)
EVERYTHING!
I think it is a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Oh sure I try and ACT like I have it all together.
But most days I want to curl into the fetal position
and go back to my mommy's womb...
because I am sure that was the only time I ever felt confident.

Brad does not understand where these insecurities come from.
He has tried for 15+ years to get me to lighten up.
But, It's a woman thing
(at least i hope it is)

Nothing
NOTHING!
brings out my insecurities more than what I have to go through this week...

It is..

SCHOOL PICTURE DAY

Oh, how I dread this day.
It does not matter what i have accomplished in my life
School picture day causes me to revert back to my 6th grade self.

I had no style, bad hair, worse skin and really crooked teeth.

And I sit down on the stool, those 6th grade images will come flooding back.

It won't matter that I am no longer a student (I am a teacher)
It won't matter that I found my sense of style (at least at work)
It won't matter that my roots are freshly covered and my hair will be perfectly fluffy
It won't matter that my skin cleared up (most days...fingers crossed)
and it won't matter that I got braces and my teeth are straight (although not as white as they could be)

The whole time I will be greatful that the camera is only from the chest up and trying to remember to tilt my head a certain way so my double chin doesn't show (as much).

Why are school pictures just as traumatic as an adult as they were in junior high!!!!!

In two weeks I will get my picture packet
and cringe (and it won't even matter if it is a fairly good one...I always cringe)
I will quickly tuck my new ID card into my lanyard.
and cut out the three pictures I always save:
one for Brad to take to work
one for my school scrapbook
and one for my mom...because mom's LOVE school pictures even when you're 30something!
I will tuck the rest away, along with my 6th grade self...
until next year.

EDIT
as i was proof reading this, i realized it may come off that i am depressed. Please do not call my doctor and suggest happy pills. Please do not call my Ob and suggest hormone replacement. Please do not alert my religious leaders that i need some spirituality in my sad life. This was intended to be a funny look at how much I dread school picture day. And the hope that insecurities really are a woman thing.
(at least i hope it is)

Happy Birthday Brad!

Because it is Brad's bithday and in keeping with blog-o-shpere tradition I am going to write about all of the wonderful things I love about my husband. But don't worry, in keeping with blog-o-sphere tradition, I will also include some of his flaws and minor jabs at his character so y'all don't get too nauseated from the sugary-coated life this post may portray!

(Note to Stephanie: at NO point will I refer to him as my "eternal companion"...I don't want you to throw up and boycott my blog!)

REASONS I LOVE MY HUSBAND (in no particular order):

*he calls me George. This started when we first met. People think it's weird...I think it is sweet. He calls me 'Chelle too, in fact if he ever calls me "michelle" is sounds harsh and I know I have irritated him

*he his Honest. He won't steal a shopping cart...even though I really NEED one at school. I have even come up with scenarios, so we don't actually steal it from the parking lot...no deal.

*he does the laundry. He calls it his "manly duty"...or doodie. He has done this since the first year of marriage when I washed our garments with our forest green sheets. Even now, if he needs to me to do some laundry he prefers to sort it first.

*he is friendly. This is one the things that first attracted me to Brad. Since I am somewhat shy and reserved, I admired the way he can strike up a conversation with ANYONE. 15+ years later I find this annoying sometimes...do we have to make friends with every cashier and waiter we come across?!

*He makes me laugh...EVERYDAY! Its his goal...and he accomplishes it...Because he is "one funny Mo-Fo".

*He is a great dad. He knows each disney princess, hannah montana, and has been know to have his own Ron doll (excuse me, action figure) so he could play Kim Possible with Emily. He watches Phineus and Ferb with Brinley and even quoted it at the dinner table earlier this week. (he draws the line at singing Justin Beiber)

*He enlightened me to the world of Star Wars, Star Trek, James Bond and Harry Potter. I still do not appreciate Monty Python, Strange Brew, and Blazing Sladdles...oh and Stripes...he tries...I don't get it.

*he is a p*****t. (I can't actually type this because Emily reads this.) Lets just say he can turn anything into some sort of innuendo. It doesn't matter where we are; at home, the store, friends, at CHURCH. People think it's funny...it is...except at church.

*He has to have his hand on my bum to fall asleep. And when I wake up in the middle of the night I have to snuggle his manly bicep!

*he is smart. He knows lots about politics...who else carries a copy of the constitution everyday...and can quote it. As we have gotten older, he has become more liberal and I more conservative. We still have some doozey arguments regarding politics, but less since he has given up playing devil's advocate.

*He loves the Jazz and Faiders (excuse me, Raiders). He cheers for Utah, mainly because he can't stand BYU fans. The Lord, does not choose football teams. He has other things to do..."if the Lord chose them...thet wouldn't have to be Independent."

*He thinks I am the greatest! When the world is harsh and I feel bad about myself, he is the one person that reminds me how special I am. He makes my insecurities dissappear and lets me know he loves me. and that is all that really matters.

Love ya
(you are closer to 40 than I will EVER be!)

Spacing

The other day a co-worker stopped me in the hall.
She heard through the "grapevine" (a.k.a. gossip mill)
that I was expecting. She asked a few questions,
and then MARVELED at the 6 year difference between
Emily and Brinley. And EXCLAIMED at how brave I was for doing it all again.
Didn't i know that "optimal child-spacing is 2 1/2 to three years".

Umm...yes, I have heard that.
Thank You.

See when we started out on our journey we didn't PLAN on NOT following
"optimal child-spacing" it just sort of happened.

We had Emily in our mid twenties.
It was cool and exciting to have our first.
after 4 years of marriage, we were finally able to say

we are a family

We got busy with careers, buying a home, raising a child.
We seemed to have it all.
The problem with having it all, is that sometimes "all" is hard to manage.
We lost sight of what was important.
We had distorted priorities.
We were at a very low point and
took a look around and realized that the only thing we could keep was the fact that

we are a family

So we pulled our heads out of our butts
reoraganized, readjusted...
and VERY QUICKLY got pregnant with Brinley.

For me, Brinley has always been the punctuation mark.

We are a family.

Period, end of sentence.
Her birth was a definitive moment that cemented the fact that the low part was over.
We now had a definite goal, a definite priority.
And even though we still have to juggle careers and everything else, we learned how to do it together.

We planned on "optimal child-spacing" after Brinley.
But, our ways are not His ways.
We still needed to learn patience.
We needed to learn to trust in Him.
That we (I) can not control everything.

As we look forward to our next baby, I am still learning to trust in Him.
Knowing that He knows
How much we want...

WE ARE A FAMILY!
our exclamation point

Back To School

Here is Emily on the first day of school, last Tuesday. It was taken at 7:15am...even though school does not start until 9! She is in the cute outfit she paid for with her babysitting money! She LOVES her teacher and LOVES that her friends are in the same class.

The only bad thing, is that the principal decided to not let the 6th graders sit on the benches during assemblies anymore. Poor Em and her friends waited for years to be in 6th grade and rule the school and sit on benches...now they have to sit on the floor with the younger grades!

(i think they will survive this injustice)

She was so excited for this year. Her teacher handed out their classroom supply list in June (she is super organized that way). So the ENTIRE summer, Emily would ask when we were going to get her school supplies. Call me crazy, but I did not see the point of buying school supplies in June or July. I finally told her we would get the supplies the pay day before school started. Well, she decided that was to long of a wait. So she took her babysitting money and bought her supplies herself! Now I know some of you may think this is so MEAN that we let her buy her own supplies. I think it shows: a) she is somewhat impaitient and b) real responsibility on her part. She had the money and knew what she needed. Here's to a great year Em!

Here is Brin, on her first day of school. This picture was taken at 7:20 am...her class starts at 12:45! For the last few weeks Emily and I have been teasing that on Brinley's first day we would hug her to our bosom and wail, "my baby, my baby". Brin took this in good humor until last night, when I was rehearsing my antics with her and she pushed me away, threw her hands up and said, "Mom do not embarass me tomorrow!"

Gulp...

don't I have a few more years before she thinks I am embarassing?

Emily came in and started her rehersal...and Brin put her hands on her hips and said,

"don't embarass me like mom is."

then at dinner, Brin offered the prayer and asked Heavenly Father to "help mom not be sad on my first day of school"

She is in the same class as her cousin, Ashlynne.

This is so cute...

My heart may burst!

Brad and I helped her get settled and she started coloring. I snapped a few pictures and started to feel the hysterics take over so I walked over to Brad and said we need to go...now...because I was ready to cradle her to my bosom and wail, "my baby". Just as her were leaving, Brin patted my leg and said, "one more hug". I needed it more than she did.

Excuse me...my heart did burst.

Insomniac Posting

It's 2:30 am.
I am wide awake.
I am thinking about changing the name of my blog to "Hormonal Insomniac"
It's catchy
and it sums up the passive-aggressive/sarcastic posts I sometimes write.

Brace yourself...
this IS one of those posts!

Last week, I took Brinley to her Kindergarten Assessment
as I waited in the hall, I overheard a conversation between a parent
and the principal. The parent wanted to change their child's teacher and
the principal was asking for VALID reasons. At one point the parent said,
"But Ms._________is SO CUTE!"

really, REALLY?!?
as I sat in the hall trying to close my mouth
(because my jaw literally hit the floor)
I realized why I can NEVER get my masters in administration.
Because I...
I would have bitched-slapped this parent,

cute, CUTE?!?
are you SERIOUS!
IT IS EDUCATION....not a puppy contest.
since when did your child's academic year depend on if your child's teacher can enter the Miss American pagent?

Later that evening, I attended Back to School Night.
I was impressed by the information I was given.
Each teacher told a little about themselves,
presented grading policies, went over curriculum and classroom expectations.
Their classrooms were neat, organized, and inviting.

AT NO POINT DID I THINK TO MYSELF, "HOW CUTE"

This parent think she has trouble now....
wait until Junior High...

there ain't nothin' cute in Junior High.

Dinner Conversations at the Smith House

Welp...I am at the end of the first trimester...
and I feel just like I did a month ago.
I make dinner...and then can't eat it.
It is really starting to tick me off!
I am still gagging and dry heaving...
I am exhausted.
and I pee every 15 minutes...
just ask Brad,
He had to pause the movie we were watching 5 times.
This last week and a half had better be the finale to my feeling crappy or this little baby is grounded!

Dinner conversation at our house was interesting.
Usually, Brad asks us what the best part of our day was.
He didn't tonight.
He probably should have.

Somehow Brad mentioned the deer hunt and Brin asked what the deer hunt was.
Brad wanted to protect our innocent 5 year old from the horrors of life, so he said that "you find a deer, take it to dinner, read it a bedtime story and" and Brinley added, "and then shoot it".
so much for protecting her innocence.

Next we talked about Kermit the Frog...
a song stuck in Emily's head...
and then vagina's...

Oh to be a fly on the wall at our dinner table.
(at least it can eat)

How Do People Wait 9 Months?!

We had a little scare on Friday, I was already at the doctors for blood work and so she said she would do a quick ultrasound to check. Everything is fine. I just need to take it easy for a day or two. The stress of going back to work, setting up my classrooms, and everything else just left me stressed out. On the ultrasound my little baby was moving like crazy. Anytime she tried to listen to the heartbeat, the baby would jump out of the way.

I had an ultra sound last week and it looked like a baby with little nubs for arms and legs. This week all that would fit is the head and a long arm with a definite hand. I can't believe how much they grow in just a week!

The nurse at the doctors office always laughs at how I stare at my ultrasound pictures.
I do.
I can't help it.
I love the PROOF!

and to be perfectly honest
I am also looking for a clue as to the sex.
I go back and forth
sometimes I think its a girl
other times a boy

As I looked at this weeks pictures I tried to imagine that long arm and what it would play with as a toddler.
Will it play princess and poly pockets?
or trucks and football?

(Please do not criticize my gender stereotyping.
If my girl wants to play with trucks and football,
that's fine
If my boy wants to play princess and pollypockets...
I'll let Brad deal with that ;) )

Now don't get me wrong
I really have "no preference"
Heck, we waited so long for this....I won't complain
I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!!!

How do people wait 9 months to find out!
They are crazy...
and they act all superior because they WAITED.
How do they plan? How do they shop? How do they SLEEP?

On Thursday, I was at the store and wandered in the baby aisle.
I want to buy SOMETHING...ANYTHING!
But I don't like the "neutral" stuff.
It looks boy to me.
If this baby is a girl, I want it in PINK and lavender and (maybe) pale yellow.
So I didn't buy anything.
But I REALLY wanted to.
I want something to hang in my bedroom,
so I can look at it as I am falling asleep.
I want something to touch and fold
to wash in Dreft
and sniff
I WANT SOMETHING I CAN RUB AGAINST MY FACE AND IMAGINE THIS LITTLE BABY WEARING IT!

(I apologize, I have been quite dramatic lately)

Please grant me the paitence to wait a few more weeks.

Because I can not handle Brad referring to our baby as...
Cletus the Fetus!

Technology Bytes!

It's the wee hours of the morning.
I have realized a sleeping pill won't do me any good.
I have no problem falling asleep...I just can't stay alseep.

I thought my phone was going to be ok.
It seemed to work for a while, except when someone would call they couldn't hear me. I could hear them, but there was no dialogue exchange.
But, i could text and access my notes, calender and pictures.
Having people hear me seems to be irrelevant...NOW.

On the drive to the AT&T store, I thought "I need to hurry and write down all of the things on my calender, write down my contacts that didn't get stored to the memory card, transfer pics to memory card, copy notes, etc"...I had A LOT of writing to do. BUT wouldn't you know as soon as the sales guy looked at my phone. It went completely black-with only an ominous red line across it! Seriously, I could access everything 30 seconds ago. I think he did something to get my money. I ask in a very timid voice, does the calender save to the memory card? NOPE
Notes? NOPE any way to get the contacts or pictures NOPE

All of my appointments, schedules, and notes are on the darn thing! Oh man, my to-do lists were also on there! Everything is gone! My life is a big mess, I can't remember when my next doctors appt is because it was on my darn phone. Did I set up Brin's assessment for next Thurs or Fri-my phone could tell me, but its gone.

I am still blaming the cat.

Remember the old days when people would write things down in their Franklin Planners? The only fear that I had in those days was someone STEALING my ugly Franklin binder. No one ever did-my calender, schedule, to do lists all remained with me. My life was in order.

I ask the sales guy, do any phones save calenders, notes, to-do lists. "Only the smart phones-because then you can link it to google calender and sinc it with...yada...yada...yada...yada..." about 5 minutes later I come out of my techno coma...I have NO IDEA what he said. I have NO IDEA how to do those things. And I can't get a smart phone: 1. you have to pay for the data plan and I can't afford it. and 2. I am not cool/important enough

So we decide on a phone, it has a key board and calender (that can't be saved)
(its PINK!)
the color is sooo important
my last one was blue
I always wished it was pink

I guess the fact I am excited about PINK, proves why I am not cool/important enough to get a smart phone.

In other techno/21st century news:
I joined facebook last night.
I held out for as long as I could.
But all of the ladies who teach FACS (Home Ec) in the district wanted to set up something so we could communicate. and I was the ONLY one, the ONLY ONE who did not have facebook.

I would like to point out, that we can NOT access facebook at school. It was one of the many sites the district blocks. With good reason, can you just imagine if teenagers could go to school and use it?! Well actually, a lot of teens have smart phones and access it at school anyway. You just can't do it on a school computer.
So I argued this point.
They argued more.

So after the phone store, Brad helped me set out my account.
I am disappointed with myself

I feel dirty ;)

My Day

I Know...2 posts in one day! Crazy!
Went back work.
Should say the opening session was motivating,
it was...just way too long.
It's hard to stay motivated when my behind is asleep and I am starving.
Seriously
it was a good thing I packed fruit snacks and a granola bar or I would have started knawing on my new motivating book.
Once I got home, my day took a turn from long and boring to DRAMATIC!

First I walked in and my preggo nose smelled a burn smell. It seems there was a tiny fire when Em made mac and cheese for lunch. The cause was just a dirty burner. Luckily, Erin saved the day and put out the blazing inferno that Emily was sure she created.

I walked upstairs and (thanks to my preggo nose) smelled cat pee.
I looked and couldn't find anything
so I sent Emily up there to investigate
she found it...
ON MY BED!
ON MY DOWN COMFORTER!!!!
(it was on Brad's side...again)

The cat now has an execution date set for Saturday.

Which has led to much crying and sadness for Emily and Brinley.

I ripped the comforter off my bed to take it to the dry cleaners.
I removed the sheets, blanket and matress pad to wash at home.
As I was stuffing the matress pas in our washer, my phone slipped from my shoulder and fell into the washer as it was filling with water.

My phone has been executed.

I am blaming the cat for EVERYTHING! (I should've stayed at work.)

Don't call the Enquirer just yet

It really early. Before 6am
I am bugged because I go back to work today and here I am WIDE AWAKE
But something has been on my mind...

Originally this was supposed to be a sarcastic....passive-aggressive....worldly justification response to the "concern" we have been getting over our age.

But, I can't bring my self to actually type it.

Yes,
we are over 30
in truth we are over 35
and we are having a baby!
We don't feel we need a tabloid headline "Oldest couple in Tooele expecting"

Yes
I realize I am Advanced Maternal Age
Yes, we realize this puts certain risks higher
and while I have several snooty comebacks

the truth is I am scared.

Pregnancy is a nerve wracking nine months for everyone. Maybe I worry about things more than others. But worrying does keep me up at night. Brad is more pragmatic..."worrying does nothing, he says...what happens is what is supposed to happen...we will deal with whatever happens..."

It's not OUR dealing with it that worries me the most.
It's society.
Society is cruel
Think about how often the word "retard" is thrown around.
Heck,
I use it to describe something Brad has done at least twice a month.
The worry that someone may use this word to describe my child
brings out the momma bear in me.

So thank you for your "concerns"
we are not ignorant of the risks, but
we wanted to complete our family.
should we have ignored this feeling?
just because the general population of Utah thinks we are too old.
(and it is a Utah thing)

The blessings outweighed the risks.

Random Thoughts on Monday

I have been awake since 3:00 am.
At 4am I marinated the tri-tip for dinner tonight and made muffins.
At 5am I checked my favorite blogs and my email.
Then in desperation for something to do,
I checked my class lists for this school year.
As I looked at my Foods II roll, I went down the list and thought:
good I am glad she took my class again;ok he was a pill, but kind of funny;oh crap!
why in the h-e-double hockey sticks did that girl sign up!
Then I looked at my Foods 1 rolls, lots of new names, lots of seniors, and quite a few kids that have already had Foods 1 and 2.
Why take it a second time? I hate that.
See here is why I don't like kids in Foods 1 that have already taken it.
The first day or two of school, I try to act MEAN/HARD/you know, the type of teacher that will NOT put up with their monkey-shine.
I do it to weed out the jerks that are in there to play and the girls who are to squeamish to touch a raw egg...let alone raw chicken.
BUT if a student has had me before they know I am a pushover...I am all talk...and i put up with way more monkey-shine than I should.
And these "veterans" will spill the beans about what a softie I really am and all hope is lost! Monkey-shines from day 2!
Brad says they take my class for the third time because I am just that awesome.
(or I grade too easy)

After looking at my class lists
I ate a muffin
as I walked past the fridge I smiled at my ultra sound picture and may have patted my little fetus. I smile whenever I see that little alien looking picture.
IT'S PROOF THERE IS A BABY IN THERE!
(i may sing to it too)

As I sat on the couch watching Law and Order:SVU here are the other things running through my mind:
*where are we going to put this fetus when it's born?
*we need to finish our basement
*if we finish our basement, will the spiders leave?
*Brad told Emily to mow the lawn today as her chore, how can she be old enough to mow?!
*I hope I can start the mower for her. Sometimes it won't start for me.
*my garment tops are awfully tight.
* what am I going to do if/when my boobs get fuller?
*Law and order is scary...why do I watch this...it puts horrible images in my head
* i really need to buy a lesson plan book
* i really want another muffin
* i really want to go to Virg's and order a breakfast skillet
*i hope that teacher does not teach kindergarten or if she does that brin does not get her
*i had better sleep once school starts
*are there sleeping pills safe for pregnant ladies

At 6:30 I went back to bed.
and slept
until Brad woke up at 7
Restful night

An Offiical Announcement

Well


After 2 years of trying


After 2 years of hoping


After 2 years of praying


After a couple of "uncomfortable" visits to specialists


After rubbing Monica's cute baby bump for luck


After one REALLY LUCKY rub of Jennifer's baby bump


After ALMOST coming to terms with the fact it was not going to happen

We got this:

Yep!

It's official

The pee stick (magic genie) granted our wish

the rabbit has died

we are Pregnant

Preggo

Preggers

Knocked Up

Expecting

In the family way

There is a bun in the oven

We slipped one past the goalie (not that we used a goalie-it's just a clever saying.)

Baby Smith #3 is due in early March

Before I sign off,

A couple of apologies:

#1 yes, I really did rub Monica and Jennifer's baby bump for luck

I am a little embarassed by this now.

Thank you both for putting up with me and letting me treat you like my own Primary Buddah

#2 I did not mean to imply that Jennifer's baby bump was luckier. I am sure that I had all of this luck stored up and that last one just pushed the odds in our favor!

# 3 to those of you with mild sensibilites, I apologize for displaying my pee stick. I did crop off the urine soaked part!

Last Week of Freedom

well it's august.
TV commercials are advertising Back to School Sales
Walmart has all the notebooks, crayons and backpacks out.
And I got the dreaded welcome back letter from my principal.
Guess there is no escaping it.
I'm going back next week...

Each year I have this internal struggle with going back
I am excited-new ideas, new students, a new start
I am not
I look forward to getting back into our routine
I will miss watching morning TV and not showering until 10am
My kids are driving me crazy
But I will miss them
My own kids drive me crazy
Now I am going to go and let OTHER peoples kids drive me crazy

This summer has been a quiet one around here.
I didn't accomplish ANY of my summer goals.
I looked at the list I wrote in May,
Nothing was crossed off.
I do have a week to try and finish some things on my list
but that would probably interfere with morning TV
and I would have to shower before 10am.

Happy 5th Birthday!

Brinley's Birthday was yesterday. I can not believe she is 5 and ready to start Kindergarten in a few weeks. Brinley is definately our more SPICE than sugar girl. Aunt Stephanie says she is crabby and Gagam says she just has LOTS of personality.
No matter how you describe her, she is FUNNY. Here are some of our funny/crabby/spicy stories from the last few weeks.

*she told daddy, "dad, I decided I love you almost as much as I love mommy"

*she wants to be a cheerleader in high school so "she can kiss in the hall"

*at the grocery store the other day, I went to hold her hand in the parking lot. Brinley puts up both hands and says, "mom, I got this". When I asked her "what?" She proceded to tell me that she is a big girl and knows how to look for cars and does not need to hold my hand. Once we get in the store she wants to ride in the shopping carts that have the car attatched. I point out that big girls do not ride in shopping carts, especially enormous ones shaped like a car. Brin thinks for a second and says, "maybe inside the store I can be little and outside I'll be big".

*Practicing letters one day, I write C A T. We sound it out and say cat. Then I change the first letter (mat, rat, bat, etc...) I go back to C A T, I point and say "what does this one say?" She looks at me and says "MEOW"

*at the dinner table, asks why babies don't just climb out of mommies mouths when they are born. Trying not to laugh I ask "why don't YOU think they come out of mommies mouths?" Brin thinks for a minute and says, "because then the mommy would choke"

*at the library I ask if she wants a book about what babies do while they are in their mommies tummy. she throws up her hands and says, "no way! that is disgusting! I don't want to see all that blood!" (it did NOT have actual photos, it was cartoonish and cute)

*when she doesn't like something-her new phrase is "it's creepin' me out." Brin uses this to describe an outfit she doesn't like, the underwear that gave her a wedgey, a polly pocket dress, a barbie with messy hair, and a casserole I made for dinner last week!

Crabby or Spicy she keeps us all laughing!
Happy Brithday Barney!

Cabin 2010

Our view at sunset.

We had a great trip to the cabin. It took a whole week for me to recover, I was exhausted!

Probably the first comment I should let everyone know: There were no rodents in the cabin! Yeah! No bats dive bombing me in the wee hours of the morning and no rustling of mice. I actually even slept (for the most part). I did still jump at most noises and listened for the flapping of wings and had to get up and pee 4 or 5 times, but still got more sleep than usual!

However, NO trip the cabin is complete with out some catastrophe. This year it was a broken water pipe. When we got to the cabin Brad turned on the electricity and then went outside to turn on the water. I was in the kitchen waiting for the water to come on, it did for a few seconds and then sputtered off. Brad tried the water in the bathroom..nothing. We couldn't figure what was wrong. Brad went outside and said a very bad word. Water was coming up from under the walk way, which meant a pipe leading to the cabin had burst. He quickly turned off the water and called his mom, so she could call the handy man. The handy man came(the next morning) and he and Brad had the water fixed by 10am. Crisis averted.

Stephanie and Jef came up Thrusday with the boat we all rented. The plan was to spend all day Friday and Saturday on the lake. I however, got really "boat sick" on Friday and spent the afternoon at the cabin with the little girls. Saturday was better and I was able to spend the day at the lake.

Something must be wrong with me...I only took 7 pictures the entire week we were there.

7 pictures! I can't even believe it.

I just didn't even think about bringing my camera.

So i have no pictures of Emily (or anyone else) on the tube.

I have no pictures of the "biggest" sandcastle Brin, Brad and Ashlynne made.

I have no pictures of the gorgeous scenery you can only see on a boat.

Nothing. Nada. Zip..

SEVEN lousy pictures, I quickly took while leaving.

How will all of the people who read this know what a happy time we had...I have no picture evidence of our fabulous family moments!

Something must be wrong with me ;)

Oh wait Brad took 5 or 6 with his i-phone.

so we have about 13 pictures total.

Speaking of the i-phone...

Brad has one, Stephanie has one, and Jef has one

apparently...

I am not cool/important enough to have one

this year they all got service on their cool/important i-phones

and friday night, I looked around the cabin

the three of them are on their cool/important i-phones

the three kids are on their leapsters, dsi's, and i-pods

and I...

I am reading a book

Like a freaking peasant!

Which begs me to ask the question.

How would Grandpa Reece like the i-phone? The man was against installing a rotary phone in the 70's. and here is his legacy, staring at a screen like some kind of techno zombie!

I'm just saying.